Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Happy April!!!

Buenos dias mi raza! It's the princess of everything here, spreading true gorgeousness throughout the world from my window. I make everything prettier just like that. Because gorgeousness is my specialty.
Just by spreading around the True Gorgeousness, I changed this ugly guy...








Into this.


Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and Wendy the Unhappy. Three major fictional characters in modern mythology.



Is there such a thing as Stroller Miles with this card? I want to know 'cause I'm developing a need for shoes. Not that I actually need shoes, I just need them. You know? I need shoes like Daddy needs new cell phones.




Gimme an H! Gimme an O! Gimme a T! Gimme another T! Gimme an I! Gimme an E! Gimme everything you can get your hands on! Especially chocolate. Oh, and ham. I like ham. Oreos are good too. Pears will work as long as they're sliced. GREEN OLIVES AND CHEEZITS!!! YUM!





This rare critter is an Ariccavens imbicilus. It's usually found hiding under small cars and in closets. Actually it's in the closet most of the time. Its diet includes mice, insects and candy stolen from babies. Its bite is slightly venomous and can cause nausea, swelling and cravings for old re-runs of Knight Rider. Beware of this creature as it may follow you home and eat every other sock.






This is my Easter dress. I think I like this dress better than any other dress I own, and believe me, I got a lot of dresses! It really brings out the pink in my ears.







Some say "Exfoliation!", some say "Dermabrasion!", I say ... "Spaghetti-asion!"








I say "Don't you know?" You say "You don't know." I say ... "Let me OUT!" (I'm improvising here)









Whatchu lookin' at Sucka?










After all that hard work it's nice to take a nice refreshing bath to restore all my gorgeousness. I would recommend it to anyone who needs a little gorgeousness in their life. Or to anyone who smells like poo.








































(Wow. Here's a blog that never got published. It was saved into the draft file but wasn't uploaded. It's a short one and it's kinda old, but a nice glimpse into the past.)

Buenos dias mi entusiastas! I don't know if you have noticed but I recently talked my editors into letting me post videos on my blog. Now you can see my ultimate gorgeousness as it has always meant to be, in the movies! Now you all can say, "I saw her first movies!" to all of your friends as you are watching me on TV as I accept the Oscar for Most Gorgeous Actress Ever.

Music by Modest Mouse. Sucka.




I'm actually practicing my walk for when they call me up on stage...